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It was revealed that at the all girls private school only a few miles away from the school I attend, the male Varsity Tennis coach was sleeping with at least one of his players. Obviously this is an extreme example of a dangerous relationship made by an age gap. One formula that seeks to address this problem is [Guy’s Age] / 2 7 = [Girl’s Age].
More details followed the first shocking ripple, including the fact that he thought they were “in love,” and couldn’t find any fault in their relationship. But on the other hand, one of my closest friend’s parents are 10 years apart, and their relationship is healthy and desirable. For example: a 40 year old guy shouldn’t date anyone younger than 27, while the youngest a 20 year old should go is 17.
However, the 10 year gap between my friends parents is no big deal.
In tenth grade, we made friends with a group of older guys who hung out on the main street of town, which ran parallel to the local university — guys who'd once gone to our same high school and had never left the social scene. " "So, no normal 20 year old wants to hang out with someone who is 15. Stay away from him." This was the sort of thing that always led to my leaving the room in a teary huff, maintaining loudly that she Just Didn't Understand. One Saturday, the guys planned a picnic in a nearby forest park. All I had was my instinct and discomfort — a bad gut feeling. When I write novels, there is always a clear trajectory: the beginning, middle, climax, and end.
When they weren't doing BMX and skateboard tricks in front of the post office, they were spending what money they had at the nearby arcade, or spinning on stools and shooting straw wrappers in their favorite burger joint, just across the street. "I don't want you hanging around with someone that much older than you." "Mom." I'm sure I rolled my eyes. Once again, she was treating me like a child, someone unable to make her own decisions. It didn't seem like such a big deal, as my best friend was doing nothing sneaking around to be with her boyfriend. Suddenly, I wasn't that scared, invisible girl anymore, watching from the sidelines. I remember it was a gorgeous fall day, crisp and cool, and the first time I'd had Brie cheese and red wine. With real life, however, and memory especially, it is harder to keep things so neat and organized. In the first, I snuck out of the house with a guy friend who lived down the street. My friend came back, we went home and I slid back into my bed. The second incident I remember happened when he was giving me a ride home.
Obviously a mathematical formula has limited abilities to define life, however it does help to further illuminate some of the more interesting qualities of the age question.
First, the older one gets the more leeway is acceptable, the 40 year old had 13 year range, while the 20 year old had 3 years to work with.Before long, we had our own inside jokes, a shared eye-roll at yet another lover's quarrel in a small space.