Rituals of dating in america
The American dating landscape is like the job market: competitive, cynical, frustrating and harsh.while searching for work in a competitive job market, put himself on the line daily at that job he worked so hard to get, and when he’s not working, he gets to spend his personal life and free time in “the unemployment line,” competing with other men for the golden fleece.Even if you’re a man successfully getting a phone number, chances are it will be bogus or she will purposely screen her calls just to play head games or because she subscribes to the fact that you are a creep by association.You’ll still have to treat getting a number like buying a gun; there has to be a waiting period until that first call, because showing too much interest is characteristic of a psychopath in her eyes.So, in a culture that shames and emasculates men, it’s all work and no reward. What I mean is that if a man is fortunate enough to get a date with an attractive woman with a good personality and even be in a relationship with her, he has not only played enough games and his cards right during a very small window of opportunity, but he has walked a tightrope and passed numerous sh*t tests just to be with her.Or it was by chance and a stroke of luck, meaning the stars aligned perfectly and getting a date is once in a blue moon for him.
To perpetuate this even further, there simply exists this fear of approaching women in America because of a woman’s demeanor, a shield, a kind of an aura she gives off that indicates she doesn’t want to be approached.
If she does manage to answer her phone, there is usually a, “I’ll call you back” which means never, and that she won’t want to speak to you ever again, regardless of how many dates you got with her.
If she is not playing these sort of games, she can easily tell you that she’s seeing someone or has a boyfriend just to not have to deal with you any further or she cares enough about your ego not to damage it too much.
Perilous paths toward disappointment, frustration, heartache, loneliness and squashed dreams are common.
Finger-pointing abounds and fittingly, problems are never solved.
That may seem depressing, but actually, when I think of the last American woman I dated, I am reminded of why I don’t date stateside anymore. The result is a dating scene that is a completely agonizing experience for men.