Funny rules for dating my daughter
” And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.” Then the woman asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?
” And the man replied, “No, she’s left handed.” A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. ” With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.” He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. ” She said, “That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to be until you change your attitude.” A husband and wife are watching ”Who Wants To Be a Millionaire,” and the husband winks and says, ”Honey, let’s go upstairs…” The wife says no, so the husband asks again.
”Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.” ”That must have hurt,” said the judge. ”I broke three of my fingers.” A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?
” The man said, “No dear.” The woman said, “I’m sure you would.” So the man said, “Okay, I would” Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Rule Three: I have no doubt the you are a popular fellow, with many oppurtunities to date other girls.
This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.
However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
My daughter is putting on her makeup — a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.
Instead of just standing there why don’t you do something useful, like change the oil in my car? I may appear to be a potbellied, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been, but on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe.Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are idiots. You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants 10 sizes to big, and I will not object.