Dating a widow feelings of being secondary Sex chat sarajevo online
Nobody said anything about having to learn to love again after loss. Attempting to love again the way we used to before loss will never work.
So, here is my attempt to articulate what it feels like to love again after you have been devastatingly heart broken.
I won’t deny that during the dating process sometimes we just come up with that smelly boot. I understand that some people don’t want to put themselves out there, don’t want to invest themselves anymore.
They don’t feel like there is anyone who will understand what they’ve been through and accept them for it.
I have never felt more loved, and more me, and more independent.
Don’t you think dating is kind of like standing on a ledge?
Some of us take one look at the view (which looks just fine without the addition of our innards splattered below, thank you very much) and step away.
And some of us are standing on the ledge, with the cord on, but need a friendly push from a well-intentioned friend who we may be mad at while we’re swinging but once we’re on firm ground we’ll give them a big ol’ hug.
We would have to start from scratch as if we never met before. As long as we find our way out of fear, and into loving the angels we brought into our lives after loss, then that’s more than enough.
For those who don’t know this about me I have been remarried and love in ways I never thought I could love and be loved. And since I am very animated as a person you can imagine I shook my head many times and moved my hands around a lot when I said these words. When someone we loved so deeply is no longer in our lives we can never imagine loving anyone else. You have to acknowledge your feelings of ‘never again.’ It is part of the journey. It took a year or two for the fear and anxiety to lessen. When your heart has been through so much loss it doesn’t just go back to loving. So here it goes: I cannot allow you to date or become friends with people who are not the kindest people you have ever met.